Comic interlude

As I am now up, thought I'd share a few gems from 'AccountingWeb' (calm down, it won't be as painful as you think - its from the 'Gossip Channel').

Firstly, 'New words for business':

• Blamestorming - Sitting around in a group, discussing why a deadline was missed or a project failed, and who was responsible
• Seagull manager - A manager who flies in, makes a lot of noise, poos on everything and then leaves
• Mouse potate - The on-line, wired generation's answer to the couch potato
• SITCOM's - [us] Single Income, Two/Three Children, Oppressive Mortgage
• Xerox subsidy - Euphemism for swiping free photocopies from your workplace
• Percussive maintenance - The fine art of whacking an electronic device to get it working again
• 404 - someone who's clueless
• Ohnosecond - The miniscule fraction of time in which you realise that you've just made a BIG mistake (e.g. you've hit 'reply all')
• WOOFies - [them] Well Off Older Folk

And from 'The Genius of Peter Kay' - Questions:

• Why is it called Alcoholics Anonymous when the first thing you do is stand up and say 'My name is Bob, and I'm an alcoholic'?
• Why does mineral water that has 'trickled through mountains for centuries' have a 'use by' date
• Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp no one would eat?
• Why is it that when someone tells you that there are over a billion stars in the universe, you believe them, but if they tell you there is wet paint somewhere, you have to touch it to make sure?

And from 'The Genius of Peter Kay' - Universal Truths:

• Nobody ever dares to make cup-a-soup in a bowl
• The most embarassing thing you can do as a schoolchild is to call your teacher mum or dad
• Every bloke has at some stage while taking a pee, flushed half way through and then raced against the flush
• Its impossible to look cool while picking up a Frisbee
• You never ever run out of salt
• There's no panic like the panic you momentarily feel when you've got your hand or head stuck in something
• No one knows the origins of their metal coat hangers
• Despite constant warnings, you have never met anybody who has had their arm broken by a swan
• The most painful household incident is wearing socks and stepping no an upturned plug
• You know you've turned into your dad the day you put aside a thin piece of wood specifically to stir paint with
• Everyone has an uncle who tried to steal their nose

[Libby: What I want to know is why was he looking at this at work?]