Libby back in Tz

"I'm definitely back in Tanzania" I thought to myself, as I nearly ran over a baboon driving back from Dar. It was definitely stranger coming back here than it was returning to the UK. I had hoped to settle in slowly, but on returning I got a note to say that Joseph's son had died of malaria (Joseph is the old man who buys veg for me), and Elizabeti told me one of her sons has malaria; her daughter has Typhoid, and her pregnant neighbour has also just died of malaria having been given the wrong medicine or an overdose of the right medicine. Oh yes, and some other missionaries in another part of Tanzania instantly killed a 6 year old girl when she ran in front of their car on their way to Dodoma.

In some ways it's nice to be back to be in our own house again, in other ways I feel like I can't cope with it all and would rather stay in Europe where poverty doesn't stare me so directly in the face.

Do you ever learn to live comfortably side by side with so much death, sickness and poverty? In some ways it would be nice not to be so affected by it, in other ways what would it say about me if I wasn't bothered?

You learn a lot about yourself living here, not all necessarily good. One thing I am begining to understand is that the tumult of emotions that I experience daily is not neccessarily a bad thing, but an opportunity to meet God: "It is actually in the inner mayhem of life that a stage is built for the intrusive story of his light and hope...God meets you in your weakness, not in your strength.He comforts those who mourn, not those who live above desperation. He reveals himself more often in the darkness than in the happy moments of life".

Sometimes, if I'm honest, I'd rather be happy and pass on the revelations!!